Romantic Reasons to Still Believe in True Love ...

By: Lisa Washington

If you’ve been feeling a little cynical on the relationship front, I’ve got 8 real reasons to still believe in true love! Before you roll your eyes, hear me out! There have actually been studies done by Stonybrook University in New York on true love. Using brain scans, researchers found that true love does in fact exist and it lasts a lifetime! So whether you’re a true love proponent or opponent, keep reading for some reasons to keep on believing!

1. To Have a Fairytale Ending

Fairytales aren’t the reason why I believe in true love but they sure put the idea in my young, impressionable mind! As children we got accustomed to fairytale endings where we find our Prince Charming and live happily ever after, so why should we be convinced otherwise? Our modern day Prince Charming might not look or act like the storybook type but so what? There is living proof of true love and happy endings, so why give up?

2. To Have 'That' Loving Feeling

Could I sound more nauseating about a reason to believe in true love? I sure can! If you’ve ever experienced love in any form, for a family member, friend or pet you know that it feels good to love and be loved. So imagine what it’s like to find your true love, it’s like skipping over rainbows with Boo the dog and eating calorie-free cake! Scientists even found that falling in love affects our brains like addiction, get hooked!

3. To Prove Others Wrong

If you’re one of the few who don’t need any reasons to believe in true love because you already do, keep on believing to prove others wrong! While believing in true love doesn’t necessarily guarantee it, the more receptive you are to the possibility of it, the more of chances you have of it finding you! Think about it, how many people do you know who’ve totally given up on love and then magically found it?

4. To Have a Love That Love Songs Are Written About

Finding your true love doesn’t mean you should try to make others jealous, but it’s great to have a kind of love that others talk about! All of those stories, songs, haikus and other compositions were made with someone’s true love in mind so you know it can happen and you have every reason to believe it can happen to you!

5. It’s Good for You

If feeling good isn’t one of the good reasons to believe in true love, than I don’t know what is! When you experience love our levels of dopamine increase which can have positive outcomes in our lives! Increased dopamine can be credited for increased energy, a more positive outlook and overall happiness. Finding true love can be good for your body and brain!

6. For Unconditional Love

Finding true love means you will love and be loved without conditions and limitations. Having a partner in life who loves you wholly and completely means you are treasured for being exactly who are you and totally gets you. You might think of yourself as quite peculiar, but there is someone out there who appreciates all of your quirky qualities and loves you for you.

7. To Have Someone to Spend Your Life With

Another reason to believe in true love and all its glory is to look forward to spending your life with someone. Planning your future together, looking forward to sharing good news are all part of the great things about being in love. Sure you could do this with anyone, but it’s so much more meaningful doing so with your true love!

8. Because We Believe in Anecdotal Evidence

Whether we honestly believe in anecdotal evidence or not, there’s a ton of it out there that says true love happens! We’ve all heard the stories, your friend’s friend’s cousin found her true love after a horrible breakup and they’ve been happy ever since. We all know someone who has found their true love and there is absolutely no reason that you’re not next in line!

These reasons to believe in true love might sound trite, but there are believers out there and there’s no reason not to be one of them! Being in love is incredible and when you find that one person who is your true blue love, you’re probably going to turn into one of those annoying people who you used to make fun of! Do you believe in true love?

 

Love Yourself before You Can Love Someone Else ...

By: Amber Oliver

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “You can’t love someone without loving yourself," and even if you haven’t, you should really look into the reasons and ways to love yourself before you can ever love another in a healthy, communicative relationship. You need to know what you love about yourself first. Whether it’s your perfect fashion sense, glossy hair, or hilarious sense of humor, you should love and be comfortable in your skin before anyone can love the same great things about you. So, I’ll start you off with a few different reasons and ways to love yourself!

1. Admire Your Quirks

Do you like to put ketchup on your pizza? Or have a dislike for matching socks? Or are you (like me) so fluent in sarcasm that people can’t tell if you’re serious or not? Well, those are the things that make you, you! The little weird quirks are a big part of you, and if you learn to love them as one of many ways to love yourself, you definitely won’t be embarrassed or ashamed of them if your lover sees them for the first time. And, if it turns out he or she doesn’t like them, then it’s their loss. See, loving yourself first helped you dodge a major bad relationship bullet!

2. Adore Your Intelligence

You don’t ever want to have to play dumb to get the guy or girl you want. If he or she doesn’t like the fact that you have a good head on your shoulders then he’s definitely not the one for you! Improving your education and knowing that you can accomplish what you want in life because you’re smart and well-rounded are all good ways to love yourself. You know that you’re not someone who can easily be taken advantage of. So, love your intelligence, and someone worthy of your knowledge will surely take notice.

3. Cherish Your Confidence

Though not everyone is super confident, I believe we all have it in us to look past the negative notions about ourselves, and focus on the positives. Are you a good cook? Can you figure out ridiculously hard math equations? There is always something--even if you have a hard time believing so--that you are proud of. Use that to fuel your confidence. Other people can sense insecurity and will prey on it. Don’t give them that chance! Be confident and love who you are, then there's a good chance you won’t become someone's doormat in the future.

4. Appreciate Your Appearance

While it’s true that family members resemble each other, no two people look exactly alike. And guess what? You should be proud of that! No one could have the same petite nose, full lips, bountiful bosoms, or long legs as you, and that’s something you have to realize. No, you’re not going to be absolutely in love with every single feature on your face, or every crevice on your body. But, it’s important to be comfortable in it! Any person you think you’re going to fall in love with or have a relationship with obviously loves the way you look, but you have to see that too. Or again, you’d end up in a position where the other person has power because of your insecurities.

5. Treasure Your Creativity

Do you enjoy writing poems or short stories? Are you a DIY maven, ready to take on any project? Are you a fearless, fierce performer? Try to think of ways in which you exhibit your creativity. Creativity is such an amazing thing because it lets you see how others’ minds work. You get to see how unique your creativity is and spread that wonderfulness to the world. Appreciate and love that uniqueness! I’m pretty sure that special someone would be impressed by it!

6. Pursue Your Passion

Have you always wanted to do something, but everyone around you told you that you couldn’t? Well, don’t let that nonsense get to you! Follow your passion, because most often, it is the deepest, truest part of you. If you pursue your passion, you’re doing something you truly enjoy. It’s so fulfilling and definitely helps you love yourself because you’re doing what’s best for you and makes you happy. No one else should dictate that! [ read: Girls Just Want to have fun. ]

7. Reflect on Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. I don’t think anyone is immune to them. But, the key to not being a repeat-offender is to reflect on what went wrong. If you assess what happened, and learn from it, you’ll have less regrets, and less reasons to feel bad about yourself. The goal is to love every part of you, so even loving the lessons you learned from mistakes is a good thing! If you are comfortable and honest with the mistakes you made, chances are your significant other won’t mind much either. [ read: common mistakes women make when trying to attract men. ]

That popular saying is nothing less than the truth. Loving yourself before you get into a relationship is the only surefire way of you knowing your own self-worth and what you mean to the world. Hope these tips/reasons and ways to love yourself have been helpful, y’all! Are there any tips you guys have on ways to love yourself before you can love someone else?

Insecurity in a Relationship – How to Get Over It

Insecurity in a relationship can be difficult to handle, especially when your partner can’t understand you and all you feel in love is confusing pain. Find out how to get over relationship insecurities and have a better relationship.

• Falling in love may feel like a bed of roses.

• But if you find that your love isn’t reciprocated equally, you may end up hurt or feeling insecure about the relationship status.

• Understanding and dealing with insecurity in a relationship isn’t easy, especially if your partner doesn’t understand you or what you’re going through.

• And at times, the confusion in intimacy levels between two lovers can cause more pain and frustration that even a break up.

• Breaking up is a single step that finalizes the end. But an insecure relationship makes you believe you’re in love and yet, you feel like you’ve broken up already.

Insecurity in a relationship

• Are you experiencing an insecure relationship right now? Really, why do you feel insecure in your relationship?

• One of the best ways to understand relationship insecurities is to understand the root cause of the problem.

• You’re insecure because you’re afraid of losing your lover (maybe to someone else). But why do you feel that way?

• Do you feel insecure in the relationship because a lot of people are attracted to your lover? Is it because your partner spends a lot of time out with their own friends and doesn’t call you? Or is it because your partner never really makes you feel special and appreciated? Or is it something else?

• To really understand relationship insecurities, you need to ponder over your insecurities and find the real reason. And most importantly, is there something your partner can do about it?

Speak to your partner

• Once you’ve understand the cause of your relationship insecurities, speak to your partner about it. You don’t have to tell your partner that you’re feeling insecure, that may just strain the relationship further. Just mention that you don’t feel loved at times and explain a few examples when you did feel insecure.

• Don’t sound frustrated or sad, just say it matter-of-factly. If your partner does love you, they’d try to reassure you and make you feel better.

• But before you voice your insecurities, be certain that it’s something your partner can reasonably change. It’s alright to ask your boyfriend to pay more attention to you when he’s with his friends or while talking to another girl. It’s just not alright to ask him to stop talking to girls or his friends!

Do you feel better?

• Once you voice your relationship insecurities, you may feel better. But if you do find yourself feeling insecure even after your partner’s changed their behavior or reassured you, then you’re on unsteady ground.

• On one hand, your partner may think you’re making a big deal out of nothing and continue doing the things that make you feel insecure.

• On the other hand, your partner may change or reassure you but you may remain unconvinced no matter what your partner says or does until you feel better about the relationship yourself.

• Insecurity in a relationship can crop up for the most unobvious of reasons, but the most common reasons are when you feel your partner’s too good for you or if you think there are far too many people around you who are way better than you (and may steal your partner).

How to stop feeling insecure in a relationship

If you’re feeling insecure in the relationship even after your partner changes their ways for you and reassures you, perhaps you just need to feel better about yourself. And understand the fact that your partner’s not the problem, you are!

Start feeling confident about yourself and have a little faith in your relationship. Use these tips to change yourself and you may just learn to get over your insecurities in the relationship.

Your partner is a part of your life

Let your partner be a part of your life, not your whole life. It’s as simple as that. When your whole life revolves around your love life, it’s easy to start obsessing about it and picking tiny imaginary flaws that may not even exist. And insecurities have a way of cropping up when you want to speak to your partner or meet them all the time. Lead your own life and dedicate a part of it to love. It’ll keep your love life more fun and exciting, and you’ll worry less about relationship insecurities. [ read: How to give space and fall more in love ]

Trust your partner

Unless you leapt into the relationship without really figuring out if your partner likes you a lot, you should really learn to trust your partner. Both of you are attracted to each other and love each other, so why would you want to snoop around or look for ways to catch your partner red handed. Learn to trust your partner, unless you have solid reasons to doubt them. [ read: How to Build Trust in a Relationship. ]
 
Go out with your own friends

Spend time with your own group of friends and have a good time. It’ll help you in two ways. One, you’ll understand that no harm is really done to a relationship by spending time with friends. Two, if you do exchange a few glances with someone else, you’re not really cheating on your partner!

Be an optimist

Stop the negativity. Stop wondering about what you’ll do if your partner ever dumps you or what your lover does when they go out without you. Your partner fell in love with you for the great person that you are, remember that. If you ever do feel insecure in the relationship, learn to deal with it by talking about it with your partner or evaluate the situation by putting yourself in your partner’s shoes.

Grow your confidence

One of the most obvious and yet embarrassing reasons for insecurity in a relationship is the lack of confidence. It hurts but it’s true. You’re insecure because you don’t believe you’re good enough.
Exchange a few glances with a hottie when you’re out with friends, pick a few hobbies, and every now and then, force yourself to do something you’ve always wanted to do even if it’s outside your comfort zone. The longer you drive a car, the more experienced you get in driving. Likewise, the more you learn to live your life to the fullest, the more you’ll learn to be confident about yourself and your worth.

Feel good about yourself

Insecurities in a relationship crop up when you are happy to see your partner, but not really happy with what you see in your own mirror. Go out often and start dressing like a million bucks. And work out and get that dream body you’ve always wanted to have. When you feel like a million bucks, you know you’re worthy of anyone. And when you feel confident and worthy, relationship insecurities have nowhere to go but to the bin! [ read:  How to Be Happy in a Relationship? ]

Taking a decision over your insecurities

Now not all relationships are perfect. At times, you may be really confident and attractive, but you may still end up feeling insecure. Your partner may take you for granted, flirt with others in front of you or even ignore you completely. If you’re struck by relationship insecurities even after speaking to your partner about it and even after changing yourself using the confidence building tips mentioned here, then something’s just not right.

Perhaps, your partner is just taking you for granted and not really bothering to help you feel better about the relationship.

When you’re faced with a situation like this, where the insecurity in a relationship is not because of the lack of confidence but the lack of love and overdose of neglect, it’s time to take a decision about it.

Being stuck in an insecure relationship is worse than breaking up with your partner or catching them cheating. Insecurity in a relationship will suck the confidence and the happiness out of your life, and you’ll never really feel loved. You’ll just wither away from the inside until the relationship ends.

Learn to deal with insecurity in a relationship, either by growing your confidence or confronting your partner. But if nothing really works, perhaps it’s time to step out and find someone else who can give you the happiness and love you crave for.